Friday, January 30, 2009

What should've been a clear blue sky... but wasn't because Mother Nature decided to bless us with Cirrus Uncinus clouds.

Someone is wrong on the internet. Always. But really, guys? Chemtrails? For reals?

Here's the deal: I'm farting around on Flickr, looking at pretty pictures in an "all Montana" photogroup, when I come across a photo of excellent Montana clouds - the whispy kind that denotes only the most superb of days. It's one of the things I really love about Montana. Don't underestimate the luck of being able to look up and see fluff painted daintily across the heavens. After admiring the photo for a few seconds, I looked down to the description, where the photographer was bitching about how she was "disappointed that they didn't leave the sky alone" and how "the sky was obscured the entire time" she was in Montana. Now don't get me wrong; I like a blue sky as much as the next guy. But when it's Montana whispy cirrus vs. plain ol' blue sky? Exactly. Gimme the clouds.

So I made the mistake of posting a comment saying such. This is how I find out that the photographer is a crazy conspiracy theorist.

Ladies and gents, I consider myself to be a fine connoisseur of conspiracy theories, being that I was exposed to no less than 53 of the craziest (including the "chemtrails are a government conspiracy to kill the American people" one) conspiracy theories known to man, all by the age of 12 (I have a crazy uncle). I've seen the videos, read the tracts, and guess what? It all adds up to 'I'm A Scared Deranged Individual With Too Much Time On My Hands And Too Much Need To Be Somehow Better Or More In-The-Know Than Everybody Else So I Can Warn Them And Save Them From The Big Scary World'.

Then, understandably, she gets upset when I say she's taking the "paranoid approach". Okay, so I lack tact. She's "done research," you understand. She's an expert. I get nice. I forgot that conspiracy theorists don't like to be called paranoid. That they don't see their own crazy. They're always right, you know. I'm just ignorant. I bow out, letting her to her fear and loathing, though I tell her that I "must simply appreciate [her] beautiful cloud photography for what it is to my perception: photography of chemtrails and gorgeous (natural) Montanan cloud formations."

So, this is how gorgeous cirrus uncinus clouds get demoted to the status of vague threats on our lives. This is where you look up and see sparkling scars in our skies. This is where wind-blown ice crystals become reasons to blame every headcold, nosebleed, and cough on "someone's" wish to kill the American people. This is where we, as a society, lose it. It's more than just the lack of scientific knowledge or understanding; it's where there is an enemy around every corner. It's where, when a plane disappears into the rubble of a building, as it has been demonstrated that planes do when hard-crashing into something, it is someone trying to kill us. It's where there is no hope, no trust, no goodness in others, no escape from your own irrational fears. It's where so much goes wrong.


  1. A time where rainbows are considered a biological attack are also signs of a sorry time in our history... :P

    BTW, really, really good commentary.

  2. Wow, I had no idea such pollution clouded the minds of some people.